No matter the story told, no matter the feelings conveyed, no matter the struggles discussed nor the challenges…each was met with affirmative nods and knowing looks. Each of the more than dozen men sitting around two tables in an empty room below Churchill’s on Cherry saw something of themself in the other, a shared and common experience and set of emotions. 

Every fourth Tuesday of the month, Macon Violence Prevention Coordinator Jeremy Grissom – through the Macon Mental Health Matters Program – hosts the Men’s Mental Health Meet-Up, a chance for men to take a break, reflect on their lives, seek advice, and realize that they are not alone in what they face. While several participants this week had attended before, about as many were first timers, some holding back initially before opening up. The meetings always open with asking the men how they’re feeling right at that moment on a scale of 1-10. 

“I’m doing okay, but I could be doing better.”
“I started off overwhelmed today, but I got a piece of good news. So, I started at a 6, but I’m now at a 10.” 

 What they all realized through the numbers is that they all, on average, were about a 7 on a dreary Tuesday evening, meaning they had an entire week of responsibility and work ahead of them, all while the weather threatened to drag them further down.  

Grissom led the discussion to help them feel more comfortable in the setting, pointing out the requirements or expectations for men to just keep powering forward, handling business, taking care of family, excelling at work…but this was their opportunity to let it go for a bit.

“This will probably be the longest any of us get to sit down and do nothing today,” he told them, to which they all chuckled and nodded in agreement. Grissom then asked them what was bothering them the most…what they would take off their plate and be rid of right at that moment that would help them overall.  

“Procrastination.”
“Lack of working out.”
“Overextending myself.”
“Overthinking.”
“Social media.” 

That last one was a hot topic for the men, saying it felt difficult to keep up their own mental health when all day long – from the time they wake up to the time they go to bed – see images of how well other people are doing…and they feel they aren’t doing as well. Grissom reminded them that people typically post the best of what they’re doing, but everyone is struggling in some way. 

“I need to give myself more grace and credit,” one replied.
“You gotta learn to quiet the noise,” another agreed. 

 Another topic that kept coming back up was many felt, at times, lost because they either didn’t have male mentors or role models growing up or even at the moment as they struggle with how best to raise a family.  

“I wish I had someone 10 years older than me in my life who could tell me what these things meant.” 

Grissom let them know that that was exactly what the gatherings were for, to provide a purposeful place where men could get together without any boundaries and with guards let down, all to support each other. By the end, they were already talking about how to grow the group in order to have a larger impact on their community because they felt the conversations were that important and impactful.  

But most importantly, they found comfort in the conversation and seemed more at ease with whatever number they chose to identify how they were feeling. 

“Sometimes you’re up, sometimes you’re down.”
“I’ve got to realize that it’s just never that bad.”
“At the end of the day, God’s got me.” 

As they left, whether they knew each other before that evening or not, they said goodbye with clasped hands, a hug, and a promise to talk more between the meetings.  

The next session is April 23 at 7:00 p.m.
downstairs from Churchill’s on Cherry (557 Cherry Street). 

You can find more information on the MMHM website and by following it on Facebook.